


Wolf Moon

by Kitsunes_Child



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Fanfiction, Forks Washington, My First Fanfic, My First Work in This Fandom, Romance, Team Jacob, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-08 06:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4294758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitsunes_Child/pseuds/Kitsunes_Child
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a series of unspeakable events, Bella Swan moves to Forks, Washington to escape her past.... What would happen if Bella met Jacob Black first?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface

I watched in horror as the hunter loomed over the flaccid, colossal body of the predator. Crystalline tears beaded down my snow-white face. I winced as a sharp pained stabbed underneath my chest. My breath hitched. I was paralyzed from terror. No matter what, I couldn't make my frozen blood and muscles move, no matter how much adrenaline my heart beat through me. I wanted to run to him and wrap myself around him to take the final blow I so knew the hunter would do. And just before it would come, I'd whisper into his ear of how that... that my heart was his, and only his.

But that was all a reverie.

The reality that stood before me was this: the cold-blooded hunter laughing as the helpless predator whimpered like prey. Thick, crimson liquid was strewn and splattered across the nearly destroyed dance studio. Claw marks ripped into the wood. The hunter's clothes torn to wispy shreds by steely claws. The predator's fur was drenched in blood with gaping wounds. And me, my body was bruised and battered from the beating I'd endured. In the end, the predator had chosen to take my fate, the prey.

I bit my lip hard, tasting the warmth of metallic blood in my mouth. The hunter wickedly laughed and crouched down, whispering some depraved monologue into the predators ear. Those warm, russet eyes commanded me to look away. But I couldn't. I stared back into them, imprinting them into my mind. Slowly, a shimmering darkness was creeping into my thoughts. His eyes... his eyes were the last memory I wanted before I blacked out and died.

I held in my gasp as I braced myself for what was to come. I gripped a sharp piece of wood in my bloody hand, shivering from intense anxiety and adrenaline melding in my veins.

God only knows that should be me...

The hunter was going to take his life...

The predator was going to die...

Suddenly, a bloodcurdling howl echoed through my ears. And then there was dead silence.


	2. First Light

I found myself walking through a mystical forest. A thin veil of sparkling mist clung to the air. Everything was painted in dreamy emerald; the trees, ferns, moss. I looked above, wondering where was the sunshine I'd come to cherish had gone. I could only find silvery clouds rolling, looming over me. I continued on my way, uncertain of where I was. Finally, after a while of trekking through this unworldly place, I came to the edge of the forest.

Before me was a bright green meadow with splashes of mountain flowers blooming to and fro. Not knowing where to go, I begin to meander through it. Suddenly, a bolt of adrenaline shock through me. I could feel eyes watching my back. I whorled around. Standing at the edge of the forest was a four-legged silhouette of a beast with iridescent eyes... directly on me.

The cloudy sky abruptly shifted into a starry night.

The moon-a gleaming round pearl- appeared, washing everything in frost-colored light.

My breathing quickened.

I glanced around, biting my lip, bewildered and confused.

Then, the silhouette began to approach, its iridescent eyes still on me. It skulked towards me like I was prey….

In a flash, everything disintegrated into white-gold light. My eyes burst open to blinding sunrays invading my bedroom. "What the hell?" I grumbled, turning over. I hid my head under my pillow. All that was just a dream. But still why'd it have to leave on that note?

"Come on, Bella!" A childish voice trilled, happily. "Time to get up!" I peered over with blurry eyes, squinting, to see my mom organizing my room with her usual obsessive neat-freakness. The sun really wasn't the only thing that was invasive this morning.

"Why…." I moaned. "Let me go back to sleep… it's a Saturday…."

"Nope!" She sang, "Our flight for Los Angeles leaves at 7:45 A.M. sharp, so we have to skiddoo on out of here so we don't miss it."

"Right…" I sighed. I lazily shoved the blankets off me and pressed my feet into the cold floor. I gazed out my window as the first light of dawn melted over the city of Phoenix. Lord, was I going to miss this place after high school…. These days as I got older, I felt more and more like a burden to my mom. So more and more I'd be responsible for myself. It'd always been like that. I took care of my mom, more than she ever did me. I guess, except for today with waking me up. However, she had her disgusting Phil now to take charge of her care. And me? I was now looking at colleges, as most juniors at Cactus Shadows High School. Soon I wouldn't be a burden to her anymore.

I sighed. "University of Southern California… here I come." I forced myself up and to get ready.

 

* * *

 

After a good shower and a bowl of cinnamon oatmeal, I was ready to go. My long, dark hair was flowing free. I'd braided a part of to the side and pinned it. I was in pair of blue jeans tucked into a pair of vegan Doc Martins and a white lace midriff tank. I didn't care if my mom thought my out was too revealing or boyish, she'd just have to deal with it. I tied my red flannel button-down around my waist and slipped my silver aviator sunglasses on. I was ready to leave this place.

I trudged out to the garage to help my mom with the suitcases. Instead I found Phil.  
I dropped my duffle bag to the ground, instantly.

Dread wrenched my stomach.

The instinctual urgency to bolt away and hide quivered through my very being.

Phil looked up with a vile grin. "Well, hello Bella."

I cringed, shuddering at his mere stripe of tears crackled in my eyes. I bit my lip. The skeletons in the closet of my mind suddenly awoke, startled. They were rattling, trying to storm out the door of my subconscious. I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to remember the shadowy memories of being pinned to my bed…. I didn't want to remember….

I shuddered again.

A bullet of rage coursed through me.

"What are you doing here?" I growled. I huddled into myself, defensively.

"Coming to drive you and your lovely mother off to the airport." He replied, arrogantly.

"Thought you were suppose to leave with your minor league team off on a tour, you know… so maybe you'd slightly increase the chance of never going major league?" I snapped. "I can drive us. I'm not incompetent. So why are you the hell still here?"

"Isabella!" A high-pitched voice, announced. Around the corner of the garage, my mom appeared with a tin watering can. "Don't speak to Phil that way! Remember what we talked about with your psychologist? Respect. You need respect. Also did you take your antidepressant this morning with breakfast?" My mom cocked her head to the side with a sugary smile.

"Yes." I deadpanned. It was a lie. I never took that damn cheery-on-up pill. Did I really want to drug myself out in faux happy mode? Then again it wasn't that bad of an idea…. But I didn't want to give into her wants, which were really Phil's wants.

"Where were you?" I asked mom.

"Your mother was out watering the cactuses," He spoke.

"She can speak for herself, she's not a complete child." I spat at Phil. Disgruntled, I turned to my mom. "Why would you need to water cactuses, mom. They can go days on end without water. God, we live in a damn desert after all."

"Young Lady! I will not have you take the Lord's name in vain, and speak with such an attitude at me, and especially to Phil." My mom scolded. "Phil's a good man." My mom nodded and smiled at the demon of a man she'd married.

"Yeah, right." I murmured sardonically and slipped into the back side of car with my duffle bag. I slipped out my earphones and plugged my music into my brain. I blasted the volume to full max so the deep bass in the songs quivered through my skull. I watched through my aviator sunglasses as Phil and my mom got into the front of the car.

I felt our rusty blue sedan from the 90s lurch and back out of the garage. I took a deep breath, trying to relax myself from the red-hot angst I was suppressing inside. It was just about a half hour drive from our house to Phoenix International Airport. Phil would be gone, soon enough. I shrugged, closing my eyes and vanished into the deep pounds of grunge rock.

 

* * *

 

We were traveling along the highway, only 7 minutes away from the airport. My window was down, the desert air rippled through my hair as I stared out. I was only going to be gone for a a day and a half, at most two, if my mom wanted to explore Los Angeles more.

The sunrise over Phoenix was pretty amazing, if you weren't rushing out the door for school or work. Beautiful colors of amber, emerald, and lavender all fused together up in the cloudless morning sky. The sunshine melted over the red sand and buildings of the Phoenix skyline. It made me feel at peace, somewhat.

I sighed with relief.

I was kind of delighted to be looking at the University of Southern California. When it came to looking at colleges, I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to do, or where I wanted to go. Somehow at 1:00 A.M. in the morning, I stumbled across it online. And from then on, I was dead set on it as my first choice. My second choice was University of California, Santa Barbara. I knew once I found the college I wanted, I was half way done planning my future. Now, I just needed to figure this: what the hell I was going to do with the rest my life?

"Phil, watch out!" my mom yelled over the deep blaring bass of my music.

"Calm down, Renee! I got this!" Phil roared back.

I felt the car jerk back and forth.

"Phil! PHIL!" My mom cried in a hair-raising screech. "BELLA! BELLA! HOLD ON! I—"

Everything went hush. All I could hear was a faint ringing that echoed inside my brain. There was no air inside my lungs. I was drowning in numbness. I stared ahead of me, catatonic, feeling as the car gradually turn over and over. The windshield erupted into thousands of sparkling, glass shards. They rained down on me as my whole reality tumbled over and over with thunderous blasts.

I heard a snap.

My seatbelt gave way and set me free.

In one moment I was staring at the beautiful powder blue sky above me, rising in the air. My fractured sunglasses slipped off my face. In slow motion I tried to grab them, but it was too late. In the next second, gravity pulled me back to earth. I crashed onto the black, warm asphalt of the highway. I couldn't feel my muscles. My body was limp, paralyzed.

Glittering fragments of glass coated the ground like freshly fallen snow. Far away, our rusty blue sedan was on its side, crumpled up like a simple tin can. The contorted, glass-covered body of my mom was hanging out of the hollow passenger window, upside down. Her limp arms were corkscrewed at acute angles. One of her beautiful sky-colored eyes was dangling out of the socket. Her mouth was gaping open with crackled teeth, blood leaking out. A shiny waterfall of crimson blood from a wide slit in her throat dribbled down, joining the bloody pool beneath her.

Mom. I just kept thinking it over and over again. Mom. Mom. Mom.

Sirens reverberated through the sticky air. I could hear the disorder of indistinct yells and footsteps running towards me. A dark ribbon of ruby liquid streamed past my right eye, eddying into a pool against my snow-white cheek. I just stared at my mother, her one intact blue eye staring back at me. Gradually, it all blurred into an incoherent mass of flashing colors, except for her eye. A tumult of sounds blared in my ears, flourishing into crescendo. In my hazy vision, I could the see sunrise, the first light of the day reflected in my mother's eye. It was the last thing I saw, the last I remember before blackness consumed my sight. Then everything had fallen into a dead silence…. And now, there's nothing but a black void all around me.


	3. Awake

Black.

Everywhere I looked was black.

I didn't know where I was, only that I was floating in this murky black void. There was just no end to it. I just floated on, and on, and on, and on… an unending spiral into deep, blank space. The last thing I remember was seeing the first light of the day reflected in my mother's powder blue eye, a flash of blinding white and then, then there was only blackness. That was it. Those were the last memories I could recall. That little fragment of my mom was all I had before being consumed into this blackhole.

It felt like there was no escape from this void. So, I just let myself drift through it. When I gazed down to see my hands, only blackness was in their place. I couldn't feel my muscles as much as I couldn't see them. I was a phantom. Peculiarly, it didn't bother me at all. I accepted it with ease. I was just suspended in this state of absolute numbness.

For awhile, I just mindlessly flowed along through the void. Nothing stirred in this dead space, until I heard a faint hum echoing around me. It snapped my attention back, quickly. I peered through the shadowy air, but saw nothing. Silence flooded the void again. A flicker of hope inside me extinguished. Then there it was again.

"…."

I searched the blackness as the imperceptible sound echoed and then faded away. I paused. It sounded again, only this time a little louder.

"…."

I felt myself, desperately swimming through the hollow air. I could feel the hiss of tears flooding my eyes. I wanted out of this hell of nothingness. I frantically listened to it, trying to find the direction of its origin.

"…Bella.…"

I pushed myself onward as I heard the muffled words of my name, heading towards the blackness before me where a pinpricked dot of light appeared on the horizon. As I got closer, the dot of light grew bigger, bigger, and bigger. Gradually it expanded, stretching across in a hairline stripe of light.

"…Bella…."

The stripe of white light got wider and wider, until it was gaping mouth of glowing snow. I lunged towards it. Tears dribbled down my face, my eyes searing at the blinding light before me. I reached up for what laid beyond. In a flash, the black void disintegrated into a blur of white-hot light. I felt my soul hurdle into my body like a comet plummeting to earth, colliding into the hard ground.

After a few seconds, the light lessened in intensity. My face was slick with tears as I gazed before me. "Dad!" I cried. My father, Charlie Swan, sat on my bed. His hand atop of mine. He squeezed it tight. His toasted, coffee-colored eyes rippling with tears.

"Bella…." He murmured.

Before Charlie could react, I shot towards him. I burrowed into him. He smelled of cigarettes and faint rain. I bit my lip, trying to hold back whatever came to my mind. I felt hims arms gently wrap around me, gradually squeezing tighter into a bear hug. I couldn't contain myself, the dammed-up emotions flooded me. I wept in his arms, distraught. I didn't care where I was. I was just so grateful to see again… to see Charlie, the first person I saw, alive.

 

* * *

 

It felt like forever until my emotions boiled down to a simmer. Charlie and I had stayed locked in our tightly knit hug for who knew how long. All the while I was crying, I swore I had felt a few drips of someone's else's tears on my shoulder. At the moment, I was silently crying, Tears lethargically trickled from my closed eyes. Here and there I whimpered. Underneath my chest, my heart was knotted in a tight twist. It was immensely too painful to understand why Charlie was here. I didn't want to know, but I was infinitely grateful to have him here.

Gradually Charlie's arms loosened. we pulled out of our hug and looked at each other. I laid back in my bed. I hadn't realized until now the IV in my arm, snaking up beside me to a IV drip bag on a metal hanger. The adrenaline of my emotional chaos dissipated from my veins. That's when it hit me. Throbbing pain cannoned straight through me. My ribs ached. I looked down and noticed the black-and-blue marks etched into my ivory skin. Every heartbeat that echoed through my body exuded with agony. My pounding head felt heavy and feverish.

A wave of nausea rolled over me. "Dad, I don't feel too well…" I muttered.

"It'll be alright, Bells," he assured, pressing the nurse call button beside me.

Right away, a nurse swiftly entered the room. Her light brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail, whipping through the air. She held a bag of clear, glinting liquid that swished to and fro. "Oh, your awake. that's good news. I'll be sure to tell the doctor," she announced as she hung the bag on the metal hanger and began to hook it to a machine. I closed my eyes as she messed with a tangle of tube before she inserted one into my vein. "Here, press this button if you need more painkiller." She place the button into my hand. I pressed the button and clear liquid pumped into my veins. A blanket of numbness gradually consumed me. I relaxed.

The nurse checked my blood pressure and few other things and wrote them down on the clipboard. "I'd imagine you'd be in pain, what with all that you have been through. The doctor will be in shortly to talk to you both." The nurse took a glimpse at charlie and smiled. Then, she looked back at me. "Your father's been by your side the whole time. He's never left you since you got to the hospital. You're lucky to be alive, no broken bones. You got someone in Heaven watching over you, that's right." The nurse waved goodbye and the blur of her baby pink scrubs vanished out of the door.

"Dad…" I uttered. "What did she mean, by… by 'I'm lucky to be alive'?" My heart became heavy, but I couldn't emotionally react because of the painkiller in my system. I suddenly felt disconnected.

"Bella," Charlie inhaled, preparing himself of what he was going to say next. "Do you remember anything from before you awoke?"

"No." I looked away from Charlie, closing my eyes. "Tell the truth… how long have I been out? What day is it?"

A moment of silence passed by.

I felt Charlie's hand grasp mine. "It's Tuesday, Bella. You've been in coma since Saturday morning." Charlie paused, trying to gather his words. "The doctor was surprised you didn't sustain any serious broken bones, but the internal bleeding looked fatal, but somehow you clung on. They've done three separate surgeries to stop the bleeding and remove the shards of glass."

University of Southern California…. My trip to Los Angeles…. College…. Life…. My future…. All of those plans—goals—seemed to swirl down the drain of my fate. I'd been in a coma for three days… three days…. Right now, everyone at Cactus Shadows High School were probably eating lunch and talking about what they did over the weekend, laughing.

I began to quiver. "Where's mom… where's my mom, Renee?"

A tear streaked down charlie's stubbled face. "Bella… my sweet Bella, you're mom is dead."A loud, high-pitched ring emanated from within the core of my head. The word, dead, echoed all around me. In the next second, all the memories came back.

Renee screamed at me, "BELLA! BELLA! HOLD ON! I—"

Then the world spun, over and over at light speed.

I was sailing in the sky.

I plummeted into the black, hot asphalt.

A shimmering sea of glass surrounded me.

Mom….

The tangle of her decimated body.

Her beautiful eye full of sunlight.

All of these memories flooded my brain. "I was in a car crash…" I blankly murmured aloud. "Mom's dead…. I'm alive." I looked up at Charlie. "I'm alive?"

Charlie nodded. With that, I fell back on my bed. "I'm alive…." The room was hollow; I was hollow. I couldn't scream, shout or express anything that didn't exist inside me. I just sat there. The only feeling I had were the tears flowing out of my eyes. For the first time, I didn't care about taking mood-altering medicine, the painkillers. The painkillers were just doing their job: to kill all the pain away.

So, I stayed like that, reveling in the numbness. Charlie didn't leave the hospital room. He was just in the corner now, staring out the window at the sunshine-covered Phoenix skyline. Shocking me out of my frozen trance, were a few light knocks at the door. The door opened and in walked a doctor.

"Well, I heard someone is awake. Am I wrong?" The doctor walked in calmly. He smiled. "Well, glad to see your awake Miss Bella Swan." He walked over and overlooked the clipboard the nurse had updated awhile ago. His eyes skimmed over it, shining positively. "You're in good health, so it seems the glass that's stuck around your ribcage is gone. We had to split up removing it all it up into three surgeries cause there was so much internal bleeding, we couldn't risk you bleeding out." He placed the clipboard down. "Do you have any questions?"

I shook my head. "No."

"I do," Charlie chimed in.

The doctor and Charlie heavily conversed about my last surgery and its success. I had nothing to say. I was numb. I did't care. I didn't wish to care about what had happened to my body. It was already vanquished with painful, large blotches of bruises and the apparent glass that had once been impaled inside me. I was facing a grim reality, I didn't have an inch of emotion left to care. I was surrendering.

Charlie and the doctor finally finished, leaving us alone at him. Now, I had a pretty clear view of Charlie. His face was carved with dread. Purple half-moons loomed under his eyes. He looked weary and exhausted. What this poor man has been through in the past three days equaled to what I'd been through. We were both in hell, and it seemed like there was no way out.

"You okay?" He asked.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"You sure?" He inquired. Charlie seemed quite on edge, worrying about me, the burden.

"Yep."

"You're strong, Bells," He replied. "Stronger than I could've ever been."

"No, I'm not strong," I said, looking at him. "Just tired…. Tired of caring. I'm tired of worrying. I just don't care anymore. I'm surrendering. It's not strength, it's just forfeiting life, or something like that."

"That still makes you strong," he said, trying to stick it inside my brain.

"Oh, I guess…" I mumbled. I hit the painkiller button to try and wash away the sudden headache that was washing over me again. Then, something caught my eye. I hadn't noticed it before I'd woken up. I looked over to see a bag of ruby, thick liquid hanging next to my IV. It oozed through a tube before gushing into my veins through a needle. I could smell it's gluey, warm saltiness. I felt a toxic sludge boil inside my stomach from abrupt nausea.

"Is… is that bluh-bluh-bluh-blood?" I could barely force the words out of my mouth.

"Yeah. There was some pretty severe bleeding in the last surgery. One of the glass pieces had wedged itself between one of your ribs, close to your heart. You lost a lot of blood, so this should replenish you." Charlie said.

I couldn't fathom that this blood trickling into me had once been inside some stranger's body. The thought grossed me out, and made me even sicker. I'd always hated blood. It was one of my bizarre phobias. I knew Charlie could tell I detested the blood transfusion from the repulsive face I was making. "I don't feel too well…." I said. My face was sweaty, and the acidic bile from my stomach was slowly boiling up. Charlie quickly grabbed the metal trash can from the corner and gave it to me. I retched and retched into it before vomiting a few times. Once my stomach had emptied I relaxed. Charlie undesirably took it from me and place it far way from us.

"I detest blood," I stated.

"And I loathe vomit," Charlie replied, grimly.

I weakly laughed.

"Listen," He said in a more serious tone. "I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow."  
"Why?" I asked. The painkillers had finally kicked in, so my headache was fading.

"Cause it's important." Charlie cleared his throat. "It's a wake that's being held tomorrow afternoon."

"A wake?" I replied.

"Well, yes a wake for… for your mother." His voice cringed at the last words. "It'll be the last day for it before the official funeral and burial that evening. And, and as her daughter, you have a right to go or not. Whatever you choose, I and many others will understand, Bella. You've been through so much these past three days."

"So have you," I replied. I looked away, thinking for a second before responding. "And, I don't want to go tomorrow…." Tears welled in my eyes, but thanks to the painkillers, I couldn't feel the pain seared deep in my heart. Suddenly, before I could stop myself, these words spilled out of my mouth: "What's going to happen to me after all of this?"

"That's up to you. You can stay here, possibly with Phil or—"

"No Phil," I demanded. I knew somehow that evil wretch of a man would live, and I didn't care if he had died. I wished he'd died in place of my mother. I wanted nothing to with him, ever.

"Then, you come with me to Forks, Washington," Charlie suggested.

No, I didn't want to go back there. Although, it was the only choice I left. I have to finish up being a burden with Charlie, and vanish into some other city or something like that. College seemed like some pipe dream I was hallucinating and convinced myself it was in fact true. Possible. Somehow, attainable. "Fine." I agreed, giving into my fate.

I gazed back up at the blood transfusion bleeding the vermilion sludge of life back into me. I shivered. At this moment, some stranger's ice-cold, vital fluid ooze was churning inside me. The bag was nearly half way drained. A cold-sweat percolated from my ivory skin. I could fill nausea slowly rising inside me. "Dad, trash can," I mumbled as the bile rose in my throat. Charlie quickly grabbed it and slid it into my clammy hands. And somehow, my stomach wasn't completely empty after all.

  

* * *

 

This morning I had a few psychological evaluations by the hospital psychiatrist. They decided to put me on an anti-depressant and a anti-anxiety med. I wasn't too enthralled with the whole idea, but maybe it can lessen the pain. Now, I was alone, with sleeping Charlie in the corner. Today was my flight to Forks. i was escaping all the pain and death. I couldn't face it. I didn't want to gaze upon the face of my mother, all painted to look alive and pump with toxic chemicals to keep her corpse from festering. I just couldn't do it. Period.

Last night had been a horrid night, full of tossing and turing, my dreams of reality spinning at light speed and shattering aloud. I barely got maybe four hours of sleep. I was lying in my hospital bed, utterly hopeless on how to get out. I couldn't really move since the three deep incisions from my surgeries were marred into my body here and there, it was agonizing to move.

I hit the painkiller button and slowly fished through the bag of clothes Charlie had brought sometime last night. He pretty much shoved my entire closet into one of my old backpacks. I finally picked out black, high-waisted skinny jeans, a frilly white top and a vintage leather belt with a beautiful intricate buckled with red glass beads. Like a circus fool, I slipped on my clothes in the bed, while trying to avoid as much pain as my achy body could take. After that hassle I zipped up the backpack and dropped it to the floor.

Charlie awoke at the sound. "Uhhh… I'm guessing it's time to go."

"Yep."

"Did you take your medicine?" He asked.

"Yep. Took it right after I met with the psychiatrist with my breakfast the nurse gave me." I sighed. Xanex and Lexipro were to ease the depression and my newfound anxiety of cars. I doubted it, though. My mind and body were pretty much disconnected at the moment.

"Well let's get the nurse in here, and get you in a wheelchair." Charlie rustled his short, curly dark hair. He stood up and stretched. He seemed to be prepared to wheel me through the airport and onto the plane for Seattle.

I sighed.

I was more than a just a burden now. I was a liability that sank, dragging everyone down around me, drowning them. I closed my eyes and fought the tears. My mom is dead because of me. And I don't even have enough nerve left in me to face it all. I just want to run and hide from everyone, to slowly rot away, alone. "Are you ashamed of me for no going?" I suddenly blurted out.

I gazed over to see Charlie had already pushed the nurse call button. He gazed over at me. He looked taken aback. "Why?" He asked. "Why would I be ashamed from the fact you can't bear to witness your mother's funeral. It doesn't make me think lesser of you, Bells. You almost died… on top of being in a coma, waking up to find your mother dead, going through three surgeries with still enough strength to get yourself out of bed." He let a moment of silence pass. "Sometime's you just have to save whatever pieces are left inside of you. You can't give them all away because you think you're doing something that's right. If you did, there'd be nothing left of you."

"I guess you have a point," I mumbled, staring at the forlorn hospital floor.

Instantly, the nurse walked through the door. "Alright, let's get you wheeled out of here and on your way." The nurse announced, gleefully. I just stared at her, quietly, ready to lift myself out of the bed.

 

* * *

 

Following the humiliating voyage from my hospital room to the front entrance, with all the people smiling and staring at me with cheers, I was loaded into the taxi. Then it was harrowing drive to the airport. I white-knuckled it most of the way, digging my nails into poor Charlie's arm, anxiety flooding me, but no panic attack came what's so ever. I guess the Xanex worked after all.

Now Charlie and I were boarding the plane. Luckily, with me and my wheelchair, Charlie and I weren't stuck in front of the bathroom area at the back of the plane. At least something good has happened in this nightmare. Who knows… maybe this nightmare might actually end?

As Charlie rolled me down the ramp and into the plane, I started thinking about Forks. From what I remember about Forks, Washington was this: a tiny hellhole located in the boondocks of Washington with incessant cloudy days and rain. Nothing special about it, except the rain, the rain, the rain, and of course, the rain. I'd complained about it when I fourteen, and it was goodbye Forks, hello to two weeks of summer in Northern California. And yet I wondered, how much of it has really changed except for the rain.

Knocking me out of pondering, Charlie locked my wheelchair into place on the plane and settled in next to me. He whipped open a newspaper and began to read. I glanced out my window, watching the people below in their neon-range vests, fluidly do their jobs under the plane, like worker bees preparing a hive. I couldn't tell if they are sweating in the Arizonan morning heat, but I knew they were. It'd only become more hellish as the day wore on. If they were in Forks, I wondered what they'd be like. "Hey dad," I muttered.

"Yeah, Bells," He replied.

I looked up from my window and at Charlie. he was looking at me with a sideway glance. "What's Forks like now?"

"Oh, you know. The same," He uttered. "The same people. The same food. The same—"

"—rain," we both said at the same time.

Charlie smirked, muttering on. "You'll like it, a few things have changed. Like Dr. Cullen. He's the new chief resident at hospital now, and he and his family have been here for about two years now. And at the diner, they changed my favorite dish to some odd salmon sandwich or something like that. But that's it. Same old, same old. I still hangout with good old Billy Black, except that boy Jacob of his, your little old friend, has gotten much older. So he's changed. Bella, I'm sure you'll find a lot more has changed than I have. Or, maybe not? I have no clue though."

"Well, glad to hear something has at least changed," I stated. "That town existed like its frozen in time, completely immortal." I bit my lip and then looked at Charlie, quite puzzled by one thing he said. "And uh, dad… my old little friend?"

Charlie gazed up from his paper. "You know, Jacob Black, Billy's son. You used to play with him like all the time until you threw a fit one day and never wanted to come to Forks again. But, you'll meet him again when we get to Forks. I'm sure him and Billy are planning something to welcome you home."

I winced at his words. Did he have to remind me how much of a little brat I was? I shook it off. "Nah, I just don't have any clear recollection of him. that's all." I glanced over at Charlie, but he was absorbed into his newspaper. With that, I plugged in my earphones, and laid my head against the glass. Soon, the plane was on the runway taking off. I gazed out, watching as Phoenix, Arizona became smaller and smaller, until it was nothing more than a speck amongst a desert. One of the last pieces of me disappeared int the red dust. A tiny burst of pain sparked inside me.

The plane sailed through the powder-blue sky, heading north. I felt the glowing warmth of the golden sun emanating through my window. I closed my eyes and tried to picture Forks again. I tried to remember all the people, all the stores, and all the other rainy places in Forks. But none of it came to me. The memories were staticky and green-and-grey colored. Through the pounding bass of my music, I tried to to remember. Remember him, my apparent childhood friend.

Jacob Black.


	4. Circumstance

“Welcome back, Bella,” Charlie announced as he unloaded me in my wheelchair from the tiny propeller plane that had landed in Port Angeles from Seattle. Now, just an hour and fifteen minute drive laid between Forks and I. Already, glowing sullen clouds were loomed over me. The sunshine was blotted out by them. The smell of cool mist and rain filled my nostrils. The air was saturated and motionless, not dry and and windy like Arizona.

Charlie retrieved our things from a pile that was being unloaded from beneath the plane. The next thing I knew, I was being wheeled out to the parking lot where the good old police cruiser sat. A light nostalgia came over me as I instantly remembered going on fishing trips to First Beach in La Push in it. I exhaled, forlorn, washing my mind blank of somewhat happier times.

Sliding into the passenger side of the cruiser, my body ached in pain. Charlie tossed our bags into the back, and slid into the driver side. With a thunk, the door closed, and I was but alone with Charlie once more. Unlike my mom, Charlie was okay being quiet and alone. He never hovered. He never tried to fill a cavity of silence with awkward, trivial babble. You could enjoy the silence with him. And that’s exactly what we did with the drive to Forks. For almost an hour, I watched the blur of emerald forest shoot on by me. A light, gleaming mist of rainfall shattered across the windshield. I really did abhor the rain, but I had no other choice than to live with Charlie. So, I had to just go with it.

For the whole ride, I was in pre panic attack mode. The anti-anxiety was doing its job for the most part. I was relieved of my quiet distress when, finally, we drove by a sign that read: Welcome to Forks. I was back here after many years. I watched out the window as a truck crossed an intersection in front of us, loaded with giant, saturated timber. The population in Forks was somewhere around 3,207 people, and everyone knew each other, and probably at some point related too. The town was not small, but small small. Quaint stores lined some of the streets here and there as we drove by.

After a few more turns, Charlie turned down a lone road; the asphalt slick with fresh rain. A few houses were perched far away from one another, with only thick ferns and towering, moss-covered trees filling the space between them. The cruiser pulled up on the gravel drive in front of a tiny, chalk-white house that had wood siding. It was surrounded by a small yard and a mass of green forest beyond that.

The engine mumbled into silence as Charlie got out and fetched my wheelchair from the trunk. I eagerly swung the passenger door open. A hazy veil of somnolence dusted across my eyelids. My ribcage achy and tender with every light breath I took. The entirety of me just yearned for sleep.

I groaned as Charlie unfold the stupid thing before me and I lowered myself in, wincing and exhausted. He shuffled me up the brick steps to the front door and let me in. The aroma of lavender and cigarettes wafted through the air. It brought back distant memories of my childhood. I rolled myself towards the wooden staircase that led upstairs. I just stared at it, defeated.

“Well, this is sure as hell going to be a problem,” Charlie remarked, staring at it too. How were we going to get the wheelchair up? With a deep breath, I gritted my teeth. The shock of pain rattled through me as I forced myself up. It felt like the wind had gotten knocked out of me. I forced past the pain, and made myself stagger up the stairs at a glacial pace. “Bells! What on earth are you doing?” Charlie’s voice was on edge. “I was just about to carry you up.”

I forced a smile and turned towards him. “Dad, I got this.” I turned and continued on my excruciating journey of going up the stairs.

I just wanted rest.

“You sure are one strong—but undoubtedly stubborn—girl, Bella,” Charlie chuckled.

“Yep, Dad, you sure are right about one thing,” I uttered back, reaching the top of the stairs and limped towards my room. I burst the door open and collapsed onto the bed, bone-tired.

 

* * *

 

A few hours had passed by, and I was staring at my shadowy ceiling. While I had rested, Charlie had brought my stuff upstairs, and put it in the corner of my old room by my cruddy desk with my ancient computer on top of it. I could hear the muffled sounds of the TV. I knew Charlie was probably watching the game, alone, doing his usual thing prior to my abrupt move-in.

Suddenly, I heard coughs of a thundering engine emanate from the front of the house. Then there was silence. I perch up in my bed clutching my side, bewildered at whom it could be. Boisterous pounds sounded at the front door. And next, three robust, rowdy voice echoed through the house. I pulled my blankets off me, still in the outfit I’d traveled in. I lurched out of bed and stumbled to the bedroom door, opening it. I stood at the edge of the stairs, looking down at three boys: two of whom were too old to be boys, and one that looked around my age.

Charlie was goofing around, throwing pretend punches at a man in a wheelchair. The man in the wheelchair had sepia-colored skin and peppered, inky-black hair that was pulled back. He was beer-bellied with a thick wool blanket covering his lap. I noticed stern, wise lines were carved deep into his face as his onyx eyes suddenly met mine. They first looked at me darkly and wary, but quickly glimmered with delight. “Well, looks like Sleeping Beauty is awake after all.” The man commented, chuckling. The next thing I knew, Charlie and the young boy next the old man were staring up at me. A sudden wave of inhibition of what how I looked like, clawed through me. I knew I must look like a zombie.

“Bella, I though you were going to sleep for good? Well, come on down and join the party,” Charlie announced. “And you remember Billy Black?” Charlie motioned towards the man in the wheelchair. I gazed at Billy Black as memories of fishing in the mornings of glowing, silver mist at First Beach amongst the black, wet boulders and tide pools popped into my mind. “And his son Jacob Black. You know, your little childhood friend.” I glanced over at the tall boy standing next to Billy.

Those childhood memories became obsolete in my mind as the glistering, dark chocolate eyes of Jacob Black gazed into mine. I finally remembered this boy and his father like it was yesterday— vividly and clear-cut. “Uh, yeah. Hey, it’s definitely been a while,” I awkward chimed. I found myself unconsciously reveling in the magnetic aura of Jacob Black. His toasted, dark eyes hypnotically twinkling, deep-set and contoured by the broad planes of his cheekbones. He seemed to withhold a bit of immaturity in his chin; it was rounded and cherubic. Yet, the rest of him read more man than boy. He was towering with height, and a bit lanky. However from his satiny, russet skin to his raven-black hair pulled back in a low ponytail, Jacob Black was irrevocably striking and somehow in his own way, beautiful….

“Bella?” Charlie’s voice shattered my thoughts. The connected gaze of Jacob and I ruptured, both of us glanced away from our shared moment. But, from the corner of my eye I could see that scarlet faintly dusted across his cheekbones. My face became red-hot and rosy. “You want to join us?”

“We brought 'welcome home' food,” Jacob husky, silvery voice announced out of the blue. He held up two bakery boxes on top of each other balanced on one hand. “We weren’t sure what you liked so we brought two.” Our eyes met again. How could I have almost completely forgotten about this boy?

I could feel my flush deepening with a glowing scarlet. Jacob’s voice was as tantalizing as he looked. I shoved the golden warmth of adrenaline inside me to the back of my mind. Finally, I got words pulled together in my mouth. “Sure.” I replied. A wisp of a smile streaked across my face.

“Alright, boys the game is on!” Charlie hollered like a kid again. It was nice to see him act like that. We’d been through so much, Charlie needed this break from hell. I watched as Billy Black and him and Charlie disappeared into the kitchen, Jacob trudging behind them. I sighed with relief, and slowly tottered down the stairs, alone and without help. I turned and headed the kitchen, pondering of what was to come.

 

* * *

 

The night with the Blacks had been filled with laughter as we played about three games of poker. It was something I had needed, desperately. The cakes were nothing more than two frosted-white rectanglesinside crumpled bakery boxes. On top of the cakes, pathetically scrawled in pink frosting, was this: ‘Welcome Back Bella!’. Still they tasted a thousand times better than they looked. I was sure Charlie had something to do with this.

Billy Black and Charlie disappeared into the family room to watch the game on the flat screen, leaving Jacob and I alone. The whole time him and I muttered a few words, but that was it. Now it was just the two of us. This couldn’t be any less awkward—or bleak for that matter—than it was now. “Uh, hey Isabella?” Jacob’s voice rang.

“Bella.” I corrected him.

“Bella, I mean. Remember me at all?” He asked.

“Somewhat,” I said as I cleaned up the kitchen. “I’m not too good with faces, well people in general. But when I saw you, I, I remembered you. Correct me if I’m wrong but we used to make mudpies together.”

Jacob leaned against the counter. “Yes we did. You should remember my sisters—Rachel and Rebecca—better than you remember me though.” I suddenly recalled the horrid memories of childhood me, the brat, storming up with tantrums which put an end to all fishing trips by the time I was eleven. And yes, not only Jacob, but his two older sister had witnessed my fits. A quiver ran down my spine. I was mortified of those memories from long ago. No wonder Rachel, Rebecca and I didn’t progress as friends, they were shy and I was a little monster, on top of being shy.

“Uh. I do too. How are they?” I asked, plopping what was left of the cake’s in their boxes and into the fridge.

“Good. Rachel's off on scholarship at Washington State. Rebecca is married and off living with her surfer husband in Hawaii.” Jacob leaned in towards me. He smelled, oddly enough, of sunshine.

I blinked, stunned. The twins were only a little over a year older than me, and already they sounded well off into the adult world. “Wow.” I commented. Also on a side-note, I think I was hallucinating Jacob Black's aroma. .

“Anyways, my father and I got a surprise for you. It’s well, a ‘welcome home’ gift from us and your dad.” My ears perked up and I turned to him.

“Really? You seriously didn't have do that, you know.”

“Well when you finish up here, it’s waiting for you outside," Jacob remarked. I quickly scrubbed the counters and old wooden table. I zipped up my red parka and black rubber rain boots and headed out the door with Jacob Black.

Twilight had already immersed itself into the sky and the surrounding forest. Everything was veiled in dark blue—very dim—except for the moon on the horizon as it glacially ascended into the sky. Jacob walked me out front. He made me stand in front of my house, hands covering my eyes like the moron I was. “Alright Bella, get ready.” I heard a whoosh. Then, Jacob announced, “open your eyes now, Bella.”

What stood before me was the most beautiful truck I’d ever seen. It was a very vintage and archaic truck. Its hood was bulbous, and the cabin was small and rounded. It was a bright fire hydrant red. “Awesome!” I gasped. It beat all the vintage vinyls and my turntable I had thrown into some dusty old storage bin, long ago. “Is this really for me?”

“Yeah, I fixed it up myself for you.” Jacob looked away. He rubbed the back of his neck. “It wasn’t that big of a deal. Charlie said you’d need a car.”

I grinned and ran to the car, inspecting it. The glossy, hot red paint glimmered in the moonbeams. I whipped open the door and slid in, closing the door. I gripped the off-white leather steering wheel tightly. Out of nowhere, Jacob stretched his arm through the rolled-down driver window and impaled the keys into the ignition, revving it to life with an prehistoric roar. I examined the whole inside of the car. Jacob began to explain how he’d fixed it up. Oddly enough, it felt as though the cabin was shrinking. I bit my lip. A spark of anxiety came over me.

“Huh…” I interrupted. “Uh, sure is small in here, isn’t it? Really… really… small….” My voice trailed off as the windows and the cabin of the old truck seemed to be breathing. They grew bigger and then exhaled, closing in on me. It felt like a boa constrictor had wrapped itself our my body, choking me. I gasped for air. Tears glittered in my eyes. Before I knew it, the burning headlights of my new truck blurred and melted into a blinding gold light. The next thing I knew my body felt ice-cold as sudden blood leaked past my eyes, everything was spinning around me except for the Arizona sun and powder sky. A twisted, ripped-up corpse leaking blood was tossed up over a sideways car far in the sandy, hot distance. “Mom! Mom!” I scream, excruciating pain burning inside my icy body. “Mom!”

In a flash, I snapped back to reality. Strong, warm hands were grasping my shoulders. “Bella! Bella are you alright?” sounded Jacob’s strained voice in a rasp.

“My mom’s dead!” I said aloud. Quickly, I shoved my way out of the truck passed him. Air flowed deeply in my lungs as the flashback of the car crash ceased from my rattled memory. “I’m alright…” I panted. I was a tinge mortified that Jacob saw that. “I need to get out of here.”

“Alright.” Jacob responded. His eyes were glazed with a faraway grief of his own.

 

* * *

 

We fast-walked through the forest... far, far, far away from the house. I had enough strength, even though my rib cage horridly ached and I felt light in the head. However, I just powered through it. Trying to focus on the present moment.

Everything was painted in this ethereal blue-green shade. The silver, full moon in the clear sky lit our way through the emerald forest overwhelmed with moss. Opalescent moonshine spilled through the cracks and crevices of the canopy above us. The rain had ceased for awhile and now remanent rainwater trickled down in fat, starlit drops on us.

“I’m sorry that happened,” I remarked to Jacob. Snippets zapped through my mind; slowly pounding deeper into my head. “Can you just-just-just tell me a story to get my mind off of it,” I burst out with a strained voice.

“Okay,” Jacob replied calmly. “Okay…. You like ghost stories?”

“Anything that will help take my mind off the flashbacks, please,” I snapped. I felt a bit of guilt for taking it out on him. “Sorry.” I apologized, with one hand on my head, the other wrapped around the side of my ribcage. “And I do love a good fright, now and then.”

“It’s fine. Let’s stop here,” Jacob said. A recently fallen tree had collapsed over its side. Now, it was just a dried-out, dark log with an overgrowth of moonlit moss. Jacob and I sat down on it. A giant fern was fanned out behind us, hiding us from the sight of any carnivorous animal. Sitting down, my entire boding relaxed, slowly. I glanced over at Jacob. His tantalizing face was carved out perfectly in a splash of moonlight. His deep-set eyes glimmered. A smirk streaked across his face. “Many moons ago, they say in the Quileute Tribe that we were once wolves back in the time of Creation. We chose to become human. So into this day, we give thanks to our ancestors, the wolves, from whom we descend. We don’t kill the wolf, for they are our brothers. It’s tribal taboo to do so. However, there are other stories of why we are in sense, wolves still, supposedly.”

“Supposedly?” I inquired. Jacob’s eyes twinkled like the pink-prick stars above us.

“Yes, the stories of the cold ones,” Jacob’s mellifluous voice trickled through the air. He gave me a sideways glance, eyeing down on me, watching me to see my reaction. “There are stories of the cold ones just as old as the legends of wolves. In fact, my own great grandfather knew of some of these cold ones.” Jacob casually undid his low ponytail so his glossy, raven-black hair cascaded past his shoulders. “Now, do you know what the natural enemy of the cold ones are?” He asked, leaning in closer to me.

“Uh, no…” I murmured. Our faces were mere inches away from touching. I nervously bit my lip out of habit. I wanted to shame Jacob for being temptingly beautiful. Bizarrely enough, I envied his illuminated sepia skin. Besides that, the ache in my side softened, along with my headache.

“Only one…. Then men that turn into wolves, like our ancestors. I guess you could call them werewolves. Traditionally we’ve been their enemies and they are our enemies. So, one day, during the time my great-grandfather was alive, a clan of them came into our territory, but they weren’t like the other cold ones. They didn’t feast like the others did—they weren’t a threat to the Quileute Tribe. My great-grandfather, being the tribal elder like my father is now, made a treaty with them. If they stayed off our land, we’d never expose them to the white man.”

Jacob’s head gradually lowered, gazing deeper into my eyes. “What-what did you mean by ‘feast like the others'? why weren’t they… a threat?” I asked breathily. A zap of adrenaline quivered down my spine.

“Cause this clan was a bit civilized. However that’s not the case for every cold one. You never know how hungry they are, and if a human is around, it may just be too hard for the cold one to resist….” The air around Jacob and I became tense.

“Resist what, exactly?”

Jacob’s face was so close, our noses were close to touching. “Human blood….”

My heart dropped into my stomach. The sheer thought of that crimson, metallic-smelling ooze was sickening. Jacob start to laugh. “What?” I asked, pushing the thought of some creature in the night guzzling down blood out of my mind.

“Scared you.” He smirked and leaned away from me. I was a tinge crestfallen he’d sat up away from me. “And the end of the story goes is that the clan of the cold ones that made the treaty with my great-grandfather are the same ones that live around here today. Thus, making us wolves still, in spirit at least.” Goosebumps blossomed all over my snow-white skin. Jacob pointed it out quickly. “You have goosebumps.”

“I know,” I replied. “You’re a good story teller. So what exactly… are the cold ones?” I shivered from within my coat. Jacob inched a bit closer towards me.

“Blood-drinkers…” He murmured, staring skywards at the luminous orb of the moon. His eyes shifted to me. “Vampires.” We both looked at each other and then started to laugh. “Well, we should get going back. Our fathers’ are going to realize we’re gone and get the wrong idea of what we’re up to.”

“That would be absolutely horrible,” I commented. I could only imagine Charlie's face. 

And so off we walked back through the mystical forest to the house, The January moon lighting our way with its silvery essence. Once and while Jacob’s shoulder would bump into mine, but I’d awkwardly laugh it off. Finally I broke the silence. “So how old are you?”

“Fifteen. I just recently turned fifteen,” Jacob remarked still gazing up at the nighttime sky. It was like a mirror shattered in my brain. Could this manly boy really just have turned fifteen? I felt like a complete moron for feeling attracted to someone three years younger than me….

“You?” Jacob inquired.

I coughed a bit. “Uh, seventeen.”

“Ah, cool….” Jacob seemed to be muttering to himself. Suddenly he looked at me. “Am I crazy is it kind of hot out here?”

I replied, “I think you are. It’s the middle of January for crying out loud! how could it be hot?” We were half way to the house at this point. “You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Jacob pulled at the open collar of his red plaid button-down shirt. I swore I saw a few beads of glistening perspiration roll down his neck in the moonlight. 

“Why do you keep looking at the moon?” I cocked my head.

“Cause it's mid January, and the old Quileute story of wolves got me thinking about what my grandfather used to say about the January moon. He used to call it the Wolf Moon,” Jacob looked at me. His face seemed to be rubescent. The planes atop his cheekbones were daubed with a burning scarlet. “When the Quileutes used to live in villages, the wolves would come out outside of them and howl. It would be the dead of winter like this, and the moon full and bright… and the wolves would howl away, starving close to death. If you listen closely enough I think you can hear one of them now….”

We both came to a halt. I could see the house and my brand-new, fiery red truck through the thick forest. We were only a few yards away at this point. The winter wind rustled through the treetops. We stood in silence for moment. Then, I heard it. Far, far away from Forks, was the echoing, lone cry of a wolf howling. Barely audible, It was high-pitched, crescendoing then fading off. In a flash, I glanced up at Jacob. His eyes were glazed with that far-off grief again. A drop of sweat trickled over his cheekbone. His skin seemed to have flourished with a hot red.

“That’s the same wolf I heard sometimes outside at my house in La Push. That same howl…. It sounds like he’s relenting over guilt of a lover or something, but he always sounds so alone,” Jacob said. he looked at me, as if trying to act normal from the fever that was blatantly overtaking his body right in front of me. He started to walk on, and so I followed right after him.

Suddenly Jacob stumbled. He collapsed to the ground gasping. “Jacob!” I exclaimed. I rushed towards him, grabbing his arm. I could feel the searing heat of his skin exuding through his clothes. His acutely flushed face was drenched in twinkling sweat. He looked up at me, I could see the sickly nausea rippling in his dark chocolate eyes.

“I’m fine,” Jacob growled deeply. “I’m not feeling too well, that’s all.” He faced himself up, towering over me and walked towards the house at a glacial pace. He staggered a bit and then leaned against his old dark car. “I think I’m going to puke…”

I reached up, pressing the back of my pale hand to his dark, red-hot forehead. “Ah!” I chirped and ripped my hand away. The sheer heat from him had singed my hand. “You have a really, really bad fever….”

“You think?” Jacob sickly chuckled.

Then, the porch light flicked on. “Hey what’s going on out there?” Billy Black’s voice bellowed. Sure enough, the two of them were out here in a heartbeat. Charlie swiftly managed to roll Billy down the brick front steps and through the gravel over to us. 

“It’s Jacob. He was showing me the new car you guys gave me, and in the next second he started burning up with a fever.” I stayed close to Jacob, deeply worried. Suddenly, he stood up, wavering a bit. Jacob looked at me, however this time he was less feverish.

“I'm still feeling sick, but the nausea’s gone. I think I can drive us home,” Jacob stated.

“You sure?” Charlie interrogated. “After all, you don’t have your license yet.”

Jacob laughed it off, agreeing. “Yeah, I can.”

“Alright,” Charlie stated. “I’m going to let this slide this time, boy.” Charlie gave Jacob a quick smile and then looked at Billy. “See you soon, you old man!”

“Hey! who you calling old?” Billy shot back and laughed. Billy wheeled up to the passenger side of their car and pulled himself in. Charlie folded up the wheelchair and threw it into the back.

“Bye Bella,” Jacob waved from the driver’s seat.

“Feel better!” I called, waving back.

Their dark car roared to life and rolled on out of the drive, crunching the gravel beneath it. Billy suddenly rolled down his window. “Sorry things had to end in this circumstance, we’ll see you next week though,” he stated. He half rolled up his window before saying one more thing. “Oh and again… welcome back home, Bella.” His night-dark eyes flickered with knowledge of unforeseen things. And with that, the window rolled up. Their car veered off onto the road, and vanished into the cold night of January. I stood there, remembering the look in Billy Black’s wise, black eyes…. It sent a shiver through my very being.


	5. Attractions

The next four days of my life passed by sheer boredom. It consisted of mostly this: sleep, pain medication, anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, more sleep, watch TV with Charlie, shove food down my throat, and last of all, some more sleep. Unsurprisingly, the rain did't quit, and I hadn't expected it to. Tomorrow morning, I'd start school… and I was dreading it. The thought of walking through the doors of Forks High School, was like descending into the Seven Rings of Hell to me.

I stared at my ceiling, thoughts racing of what tomorrow would bring. I listened to the the graceful spatter of nighttime rain against the roof of the house. I glanced out my window. The sky was a dark gunmetal grey; swollen with furious clouds. I stared up at my ceiling again. My thoughts lingering, keeping me awake. I went from imagining myself falling down a flight of stairs at the first foot I stepped into school, to the smirking face of Jacob Black. I knew Jacob didn't attend Forks High School…. However it would've been nice to know someone on my first day.

I sighed deeply, and forced my eyes shut. I'd find a way to survive tomorrow… somehow.

 

* * *

 

The silvery glow of dawn painted my room through my window, bespeckled with gleaming raindrops. I'd woken up a little too early for school, but I didn't care. The anxiety of it was faintly gnawing beneath my skin. I whipped my blankets off me and headed to the bathroom.

I turned on the shower, undressed and tiptoed in. The summery warmth of the water snaked over my snow-white, thin body. What was left of the wounds from the car crash and surgery were three swollen, ruby-red ridges along my left side of my ribcage. They rose up off my skin, bulging with feverish tissue and flesh. Nowadays, the scar tissue was tender, except the top layer was entirely numb when I ran my fingers lightly down it.

I stared at the drain, watching the shampoo bubbles and water spiral around in a whirlpool. Oddly, it was comforting. Slowly the bit of anxiety I was feeling was washing away with it all.

I finally stepped out of the shower. I rubbed a clear blotch into the steam-covered mirror to find a doppelgänger of me staring back. it was just that this look-alike was disarrayed version of the girl I used to be. Her tangly, dark hair hung in wet curtains around her pallid face. Her plump lips were chapped and pink. Black-and-blue crescents clung underneath my dull, cocoa-colored eyes. Her eyebrows fine, straight and unplucked. It looked as though her lackluster face was about to slide off her delicate, diamond-shaped head and fall off onto the floor in a sludgy pile. For a second, I couldn't believe this was me.

I groaned, quite annoyed.

Swiftly shedding my towel from my bare skin, I slipped into a a plaid, button-down flannel, black leggings and my vegan Doc Martin boots. I streaked my makeup across my face, trying to paint away the deathlike state I was currently in. I quickly blew-dry my hair and scampered down the stairs.

Charlie was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper, coffee in hand. I poured myself some coffee and grabbed a banana. Charlie glanced up. "Off to school?" he asked. He gently flipped the page of his newspaper. I came to a dead-halt in the threshold of the kitchen. I looked back a him.

"Yeah," I mumbled. The more the seconds ticked away, the more I could feel the anxiety was gradually rising up again, amplifying to crippling distress.

"Have fun, and…." Charlie stood up, putting his newspaper out. He hastened over to me and handed me a black canister. "And this is just in case any of those boys get too handsy in the parking lot."

"But dad…." I groaned. Staring the pepper spray.

"No buts, better safe than sorry as Police Chief Charlie Swan says so," Charlie chimed.

"Alright, Police Chief Charlie swan," I sighed, giving into him.

"Have a good day, Angel!" He waved goodbye. I scurried out the from door. before I could shut it quick enough, Charlies voice echoed out. "…remember if any of them boys get handsy!" He called. The front door finally shut. I shook my head at my father's words. The probability of handsy boys in the parking lot was the least of my deranged problems.

I sighed with relief, leaning against the wine-red front door. Now, there was only just silvery silence surrounding me, expanding outwards from here to school. Suddenly, a fine rain began to descend from the overcast sky. Luckily, I was underneath the porch. I pulled out my silver-grey beanie and tugged it onto my head. After zipping up my brown leather jacket, I jumped down the brick steps of the front porch, dashing to the good old red truck and hopped in.

Briskly, I fished through my fringe boho bag for the keys and jabbed them into the ignition. The truck fired up with a guttural roar. I impressed my fingers into the ancient heating vents, trying to warm myself up from the abhorrent, rainy cold I was now living in. My teeth chattered. I shook as I ate my banana and retrieved my anti-anxiety and anti-depressant pills out from the plastic bag in my bag. I tipped back a swig of coffee. The warmth trickled down my throat, washing the medications into my system.

I pulled the stick shift form park and pulled out of the driveway, heading to Forks High School. Through the unfathomable mist I drove. The windshield wipes swiping to and fro, clearing the windshield of the tinkling rain. After a few turns, I pulled down a road and into the parking lot of the school. I was one of the first several people there. It made me relax a bit as I sipped my coffee, trying to stay warm before I ventured out into the inclement air.

With a deep breath, steeling myself, I gathered my things and opened the door of the truck. I dashed out into the haze of rain. I scurried up a hill and to the closest building. I burst through the heavy, steel door. I was out of the rain, at last. I looked around me and saw the grimy tiled floor, brick walls and the gaudy showcase of yellow-gold trophies every high school has. The hallways were serenely quiet, not mind-numbingly loud with unruly teenagers. I sort of liked it like this.

I traversed through the school until I found the main office. I opened up the glass door and stepped inside. The office was like the size of a decrepit doctor's waiting room. Scattered about were various flowers in plastic pots, as if there wasn't enough green, it needed to be inside as well. A row of plastic chairs were pressed against the white wall. I walked up to the long front desk. Sitting behind the desk was a plump middle-aged woman with fuzzy red-hair wrapped in up into beehive and pink cat-eyed glasses that sat on the bridge of her nose. "Can I help you?" She asked, cocking her head to the side. I glanced down at the faux gold plaque on the counter, it read: Ms. Shelly Cope.

"Uh, yeah, Mrs. Cope. I'm the new student…."

Before I could finish, Mrs. Cope inserted: "Isabella Swan, I presume?"

"Mmmhmm, and just Bella is good," I replied. I had quite a distaste for everyone knowing who I was before I knew them. I was already as socially awkward as you could get, I didn't need a spotlight on me. I preferred just being under the radar of people. I wasn't even into all the dysfunctional drama of high school. " I just need my class schedule."

Ms. Cope combed the office for all the bright-colored paper on me until she found them. In a lengthy lecture she review my whole class schedule, and then sent me on my way out of the front office and back into the wilderness of Forks High School.

More and more people were here now, and I could feel the wandering, judgmental eyes following my every move. A light shade of anxiety flashed through me with a quick pulse, and I made my getaway into the closest stairwell. I dashed up a few steps to the landing and leaned against the railing, looking out the window. I took a few deep breaths, knowing that today would be a full day of people gawking at me with critical eyes.

Steeling myself, I turned around and headed up the second flight of stairs to the second level where my locker was located at. I pushed open the heavy door and began scanning the lockers along the wall. After a good walk, I found it. I unlocked it and began shoving in unnecessary things. Right then, the school bell rang. Hordes of people began scurrying past me to get to class, partially shoving me into the locker. I rolled my eyes, huddling against my locker until the there was nothing left but a trickle of people. I hastened down the hall, moderately lost in search of my first period English class with Mr. Mason.

Right as the bell rang, I walked into the classroom. I fast-walked directly to the back corner by the window. I sat down in the desk and scrunched in, feeling acutely awkward at the other people around me in a tumult of twittering voices. Silence finally cut in when the Pledge of Allegiance came on, followed by the morning announcements. Then came attendance, every kid cheerfully raised their hands. It wasn't until Mr. Mason reached my name that the old man gawked at me and stumbled over his words. the class laughed. And already I've had my first embarrassing moment of the day.

After a long, tedious english lecture from Mr. Mason, it was off to Government with Mr. Jefferson. Already a leach—with greasy black hair and thick glasses who loved band— had already latched onto to me. "Need help finding your class? Bella?"

"No thanks, I'm good," I uttered making my way through the flow of the crowd. "Eric, I'll be fine." The stereotypical geek that was Eric Yorkie suddenly became deeply crestfallen. However that didn't shake him off as he continued to follow me, asking innumerable questions about Arizona and the fact that I was milk-white. He thought in all seriousness that I was part albino when I awkwardly joked about my mom being one. The journey to Government was ultimately weird. I just wanted to go home and curl up under my sheets, surfing the internet.

With a quick goodbye to Eric, I disappeared into the classroom, escaping. And again, I sat at the back of the class as the bell rang for Period 2.

Mr. Jefferson began to take attendance. It was Round two for me. Once he got to my name, he ogled at me. Like it was unbelievable to him, or anyone, that Chief Swan's daughter was back in town after being whisked off by her hair-brained mother for some odd number of years. Mr. Jefferson stuttered and spat on the attendance sheet accidentally as he tripped up saying my name. Everyone around me laughed. I huddled into myself once more. Realizing this was going to be the same fashion in every class until the end of the day.

After straining through Spanish and Trigonometry, it was lunch time. "Like, oh my God! Bella! Over here!" I glanced over my shoulder as I entered the cafeteria. A girl with dirt-brown, curly hair and powder blues eyes waved over to me. She grinned unbearably. It was Jessica Stanley, from the last two classes. A part of me wanted to hide and eat my lunch in a bathroom stall, another part just wanted to please the world by making people believe I was okay and normal, not some emotionally messed up basket case.

I took a deep breath and prepared myself. I grabbed my lunch and sat at the table where Eric and Jessica, and two boys from my Government class were, along with two other girls I did not know.

I sat down.

A boy with spiked up light blonde hair and baby-blue eyes flashed a white smile at me. He looked like some recruit for a 90s boy band. "Hey, I'm Mike Newton." He greeted. I bit my lip, unsure of how to react to such an attractive guy.

"Hi I'm Bella," I replied shyly. From the corner of my eye I could already tell Jessica, and another girl with bleached-out blonde hair and grey fishy eyes, give me a dirty look. I purposely looked away from Mike, not wanting to incite a cat fight in the first five seconds of actually having acquaintances.

"So like Bella, shouldn't you have a tan if your from Arizona?" The girl with grey fishy eyes asked me. The question had a the sharpness of a put-down on my appeared laced into it.

I started to speak. "Well—"

"—My name is Lauren Mallory by the way. You should always start off with an introduction to get the person's name before you speak them. It's rude not to." She stated so matter-of-factly. A snippy smile lashed across her face.

"Never mind." I rolled my eyes and turned my attention away from Lauren. Lauren and Jessica turned to each other and began gossiping.

I turned to the girl that sat next to Eric. From overhearing I learned her name was Angela. She had light brown eyes and matching hair, and wore glasses. She was quite tall and soft spoken and seemed like the nicest out of all of them. Me and her began lightheartedly talking until a boy walked by and shouted my name. "Bella Babe!" I looked up to see Tyler Crowley winking at me. He patted Mike on the back and hurried off outside. During Government that boy would not cease to flirting with me, and I just sat, petrified like stone, answering yes and no.

I could feeling the flaming glares of Jessica and Lauren on me. "Well, someone is really popular with the boys here. You're just a brand new, sparkly thing that everyone just wants to play with," Jessica slightly laughed to herself. "You've been the talk of the town, isn't that just great!? great for you!"

"I guess?" I shrugged.

"Everyone just knows who you are and everything…." Jessica faded off. Her eyes flashed over to a group of kids eating lunch in the corner of the cafeteria. " Except from probably them." She said, her voice masking her hope of that. I followed her gaze over the hundreds of heads across the cafeteria to where two, unearthly beautiful couples sat, sitting but not eating or really talking to each other. The one couple was of a tall, burly dark-haired guy with a dimpled smile, and a slender, striking girl with platinum blonde hair. The other couple was of a pixie-like girl with spiky, short black hair and a tall lean guy with hong-colored hair and looked as though he was irked or in some sort of pain. All of them had skin the color of glowing alabaster, paler and so much more pristine than my own drab complexion.

"Woah." I mumbled, barely audible.

"Like, yeah," Jessica replied. She must of heard me. "They just think they're better than like, all of us."

"They are really beautiful couples." I replied.

Jessica almost spit out her water as she took a sip. "Couples!? Girl they're siblings, just adopted siblings. Incest on point. They may be gorgeous as ever, but they are as weird as fuck. They wont give you the time of day. Just don't even bother try talking to them; the Untouchable Cullens. And for the low down, the blonde one is Rosalie, with the big guy, her brother-boyfriend Emmett. The small black-haired one is Alice, and she's with Jasper, the guy who always looks like he's constipated."

I looked back at them. admiring them, intrigued by their enigma, though I knew the likeliness that they had some pretty horrendous personalities by they way they looked and avoid everyone else around them.

"Hey Jessica, looks like your boyfriend isn't here at the moment." Lauren commented, glancing over at the Cullens. "Where's, like, your singular favorite?"

I watched as Jessica face etched into surprise, taken aback. Her cheeks bloomed with a faint rosiness. " I don't know! And Lauren, I only said two words to the guy. He didn't even say anything back to me." Jessica tried to brush it off, but I could tell she had a major crush on him. "Besides, he's like snobby with being one of the adopted children of Dr. Cullen and all."

With that, the bell rang and it was off to Biology class with Angela, and boy band Mike. We walked through the halls with me being in between them. I was thankful for that they guarded me from the horrid, awkward bumps of strangers without knowing it. However they couldn't stop the cretins who were still ogling at me. We made a few turns as they showed me the way and finally steered me left into Biology. As we walked in, the teacher, Mr. Banner looked up at me. He seemed a bit shocked to see me, but quickly recovered. "Ah, Bella Swan, I have your books and homework."

Mr. Banner fished a book and papers off his desk. "Here you are." He flashed a kind smile. "You may take a seat." I turned and began to walk down the aisle when I realized all the seats were taken. Mike and Angela had already taken seats next to other students.

The bell rang.

Class had started.

With burning anxiety, I glanced around for an empty seat. My eyes honed in on it and I scurried towards it. Right as I was about to plop my stuff onto the table, my gazed at my new neighbor.

I froze.

Staring back at me were shimmering eyes with strata of warm golds, like tiger's eye. Surrounding his deep-set eyes was a sharp face with radiant, alabaster-white skin, a chiseled brow, nose and chin and an angular jaw. His mane of hair was a light brown with a reddish tint, and tastefully unkempt. It was like I was looking at an angel. In a flash, his nostrils flared. A vacant blackness rippled over the gold in his irises. His eyes became nothing more than two blackholes. It was like staring into the distant memory of the void that was my coma. I flinched, trying to shake the memory away. I swiftly sat down, feeling extremely uncomfortable. Were my medications now causing hallucinations?

I took a deep breath, calming myself, pleased the medication had made my anxiety cease for the time being. A shock of my hair veiled him from my sight, but I could tell this runway model wasn't at all pleased to be sitting next to the likes of me, the weird new girl. His whole body was strained stiff. Through the whole class I just stared straight ahead, taking notes trying to avoid looking over at this pissed off angel. However, I failed. I would glance, and see him gripping the table, white-knuckled. His muscles shuddered as he held back from saying something rude.

A small part of me felt insecure, worrying of what negative judgements he was making me about me in his head. Like, how I could make myself better for him? For him to be pleased with me. The rest of me wanted nothing to with this guy, no matter how good-looking. He came off as nothing more than a haughty, rich boy who doesn't like anyone from a lower class than him.

Right as the bell rang, We both stood up, avoiding each other's gazes. I was turning to leave when I glanced up. His angelic, glowing face and his blackhole eyes glanced back at me. His face etched with a pissed-off look. With aggression, He quietly growled and charged passed me, seemingly wanting to be as far away from me as possible. For a moment, I stood paralyzed, wondering.

What the hell just happened?

Did I just hallucinate two times in a row?

I shook and cleared my head, slightly chagrined over the whole thing. I turned to head out the class room. I watched the backside of the bronze-haired boy zigzaging around the other students in the class, barely missing them with strange grace and then he disappeared out the door. "Wow, what the hell is up with Edward Cullen?" A sunny voice asked me. I looked to see Mike Newton next to me. "Did something happen?" Mike was concerned.

I shrugged. "I just sat down next to him."

"Well something sure seem to set him off, seems stupid to get angry over you sitting next to him or something like that." Mike said. Angela scampered behind us as we headed out the door.

"You okay Bella?" Angela asked, concerned. "Edward didn't seemed too pleased you were next to him. Most of the time he sits by himself, wanting be left alone like all the other Untouchable Cullens."

"I'm fine." I replied. "And I wasn't pleased to be sitting next to him either, whatever." I rolled my eyes just at the thought of this Edward the Untouchable Cullen. I just had one more more period, which was Gym, and then my first pilgrimage through the Seven Rings of Hell would be accomplished.

As we walked the halls, Angela veered off to go into her next class, with Jessica and Lauren waiting for her. I waved goodbye and Mike and I continued through the school, though I could feel the the envious, nasty of Lauren and Jessica on my back.

Mike asked, "What class you got next?"

I glanced at him, semi-sad, "Gym." I wasn't in the mood to exercise unlike back in Arizona, where I could run track and field through a red-hot desert for forever. And I was still a bit tender around my sides to move strenuously. I was trying to think of a good excuse to sit out. Sprained ankle? Stomachache? Headache? Backache? A mysterious onset of juvenile arthritis? My period?

"Then we're together again," Mike stated, happy to be near me, the walking mass of depressing weirdness. "Wonder what we'll be doing for the first day."

It didn't take much to wonder though, once we'd arrived we hit the lockers to changed. I came out awkwardly with my clothes still on while everyone else was in shorts and a T-shirt. I didn't want play or have people gawking at the pink scars and dot etched into my skin. After another round of the worrying Attendance ogle and stutter, Coach Clapp bought the whole stomachache thing. I had to announce it infront of everyone. And yes, I did hear some muffle snickers. But at least I got to sit on the side lines while everyone played volley ball.

After what felt like forever, the end of the day bell rang, it was finally time to go home.

 

* * *

 

I dashed through the halls after grabbing all my stuff from my locker, dodging people who were dodging other poeple. I yearned to go home. I tugged on my beanie and hurried out the glass front doors of the main building with a flood of other people. Everyone spilled out onto the sidewalks, hurrying through the thick drizzle. I veered off down a flight stairs to the parking lot with a few other people. "Bye Bella!" Someone in the distance yelled. I waved back, only to see Mike Newton waving with both arms over his head with a goofy smile, Jessica was next to him quite displeased, hunched into herself in the rain.

"See you guys tomorrow!" I shouted back from the stairs and continued on my way to my car. I fished out the old steel keys as I needed my car. I was only few feet from the old red thing when out of the corner of my eye I saw a a few pale silhouettes standing around in the corner of the parking lot by the other flight of stairs winding through the pine trees to the school. I turned to get a better look….Only those silhouettes were five stunning, model-like people dressed to the nines, sitting around three ritsy cars in the rain. It was the Untouchable Cullens.

Jasper had his arm curled around Alice's neck, Emmet sat on the hood of a silver sport car with Rosalie on his lap. The playboy, Edward, was leaning against the side of the sports car, his leg kicked back on the tire. Their flawless, marble-colored skin seemed to gleam through the rain. They just stood their not bothered by the rain, unlike everyone else who scurried to their cars. It seemed like they didn't even know it was there, falling all over them, saturating their clothes. Couldn't they feel it?

Again, the Untouchable Cullens sat amongst themselves, barely talking. It was the same strange manner I'd noticed before at lunch. Suddenly, from afar, Alice's gaze shot up and met mine. All at once the other Cullen's eyes followed. I could taste a hint of fear in the back of my throat as it balled up. They watched me ominously. I flinched, turning my gazed to my car and quickly unlocked it. However, I could feel their eyes on me, watching me, knowing something I didn't know about myself.

I jammed the keys into the ignition and flared the truck to life. Wanting to get away from them as fast a possible. I backed out, driving around the school buses, sitting in a line to turn onto the main street. As I sat waiting, I took a deep, long breath. I quickly shook off the strange incident, forcing my mind somewhere else. It had to be my medications that were acting up. It had to be that.

Right?

Normal humans don't act like that.

It's all in my head.

What type of humans forget to act, well, human?

With a honk of a horn, I snapped back to reality. It was my turn. I pulled up to the stop sign, stopping of course. I looked. The coast was clear. I spun the wheeling to the right, gassing it all the way up and vamoosed away from Forks High School. As I made my way home, My windshield whippers swished crazily, sending splatters of rain off the glass and onto the road. I thought back, recounting they day in my head, summarizing. I knew one thing and one thing only, it a was very interesting first day of school, indeed.


End file.
